Edge Of Retaliation : Books 1-3 Read online

  Now, I have to learn how to fight, because the only way I’ll get Trisha to leave me alone is to be stronger than her.

  I can’t possibly be stronger than her. She’s double my size and I have no idea how to fight.

  Madeline is showing me a few things, but in all honesty, I think my time in here is going to be hard. A lot harder than I could have imagined.

  “I’m going to a conference tomorrow for a week. I have assigned a good guard to you, and informed her of your problems with Trisha. You should be safe while I’m away.”

  My heart sinks at his words.

  I’ve not met another guard in here who actually cares about the girls in this ward. They only care about doing their job and going home; our well-being matters little to them. I trust Officer Corel, though. Maybe there is another guard I don’t know about. He wouldn’t leave me in danger, right?

  “Oh,” I say softly. “Okay.”

  “It’ll be fine, I promise. I’ve explained the situation. You’ll be taken care of.”

  I nod, but I’m scared. I don’t tell him that. It’s not his job to make me feel better; it’s his job to guard the girls in this ward. He’s already doing more for me than anyone else, but I’m incredibly grateful to him, so I don’t say anything. He’s the only person outside of Madeline who I have on my side. I’ll take whatever I can get.

  “Thank you,” I say, and then nod at the books. “These are great.”

  “You’re welcome. When you’re done, I’ll bring you some more.”

  I smile, weak and broken, but a smile all the same. He deserves to know how incredibly grateful I am to him. Without him, I honestly don’t think I’d survive at all in here. I didn’t know I needed him until I had him, and now, the very idea of him not being here terrifies me. Still, I keep it together. I owe him that, at the very least.

  “I hope you enjoy your time away,” I say.

  He smiles as he steps out of the room. “Work is work, even when you’re not here. Keep your head down, Callie. It’ll be okay.”

  I hope he’s right.

  Gosh, do I hope he’s right.

  THE GUARD ISN’T TAKING care of me.

  Jemma is her name, and she’s young and clearly putting on a hard front to scare the prisoners. She’s probably the same age as Officer Corel, around the late twenties mark. She’s pretty, in a sense, with her brown hair and blue eyes, but she puts on one hell of a show. She loves to make herself known, and loves to make sure we’re afraid of her.

  I think the real truth is that she’s afraid of what’ll happen to her in here if she’s not hard. She’s only a smaller-built woman. It makes me wonder why she decided to pick a job like this. I guess she knew what she wanted and she went for it. Either way, she obviously told Officer Corel one thing and is planning on doing another.

  She’s not being cruel to me, by any means. If anything, she is being friendly, but she’s made it known that she can’t be seen to be giving me special treatment. So she has to put me out with the rest of them. Today, that means I’m in the gardens, pulling weeds and tidying them up. Trisha is also out in the gardens, which means I’m there with her, and I don’t have protection.

  I’m scared, because I know that three guards can only do so much to protect us when we’re out here, doing work. They only have so many eyes between them, and there are at least thirty of us, working in the garden and the yards today. They won’t have control of the situation if a fight breaks out. They’d get to it quickly, but not before some good damage could be done.

  I’m avoiding Trisha at all costs, sticking close to Jemma and making sure when she moves away, I go and weed the garden by her side. The sun is burning hot, and my skin aches beneath its vicious rays. I’m wearing a hat, but it’s not doing much to protect me. Sweat trickles down my forehead as I work in the ground, pulling weeds and placing some fresh mulch down to protect the plants.

  Jemma moves to my left to assist another girl, and I find myself unprotected in the garden. I keep my eye on her, but she’s busy assisting.

  A hard voice fills my ears, and my skin prickles as I turn and see Trisha walking over. She gets down on her hands and knees, so it’s not obvious that she’s causing a problem. I look back over to Jemma, who is discussing something with another guard, then the two of them walk over to another girl, even farther away. She looks unwell, her face pale, and she’s hunched over panting.

  “You didn’t think you could hide forever, did you?” Trisha hisses.

  I turn back to her, and then drop my head and keep working.

  “Ignoring me won’t make this go away. You got me in some serious trouble. My sentence is a few months longer now because of you and your filthy rich ass. You couldn’t possibly think I was going to let you get away with it.”

  “Please,” I mutter. “Just leave me alone.”

  “Your little guard boyfriend isn’t here watching over you this week; you’re open for the taking. I’ve got big plans for you, Callie.”

  I look to her and snap, “Just leave me the hell alone!”

  She grins and stands. For a moment, just a moment, I think she’s going to walk away.

  Instead, she raises her foot and slams it down on my fingers. I try to jerk my hand away but she twists her boot, crushing them so hard into the dirt I can’t pull away. I cry out in agony as a crunching sound can be heard. She twists her boot, over and over, until I’m wailing for her to stop.

  Then, she steps back and turns without another word and walks off.

  Pain radiates through my hand as I lift it and stare down. My fingers are already swelling, and one of them is sitting at an odd angle. She broke it. She broke my finger. Vomit rises in my throat as pain shoots through my body.

  “Callie, what happened?” Jemma’s voice cuts through the throbbing sound in my ears.

  “I . . . I dropped a log on my fingers,” I tell her, thinking of the only thing I can. There are logs lining the garden bed, and they’re heavy. We have been straightening them up as we go. It isn’t a terrible lie. “I didn’t mean to. I fell forwards . . .”

  “Are you sure that’s what happened?” she asks, helping me to my feet and glancing around.

  “Yes, I’m sure,” I say, my voice shaking from the pain.

  “Let’s get you to the nurse.”

  She calls another guard over and has her take me out of the garden and inside, but not before I glance at Trisha. She watches me go, a low grin on her face. She knows she has me right where she wants me. She knows I’m not going to say anything. She knows it, and she’s going to keep doing this.

  My chest clenches with both pain and anxiety. I don’t want to spend the next five years here. I don’t want to be tormented for the rest of my sentence.

  Tears burst forth and roll down my cheeks. The guard helping me has absolutely no sympathy for me, and doesn’t even flinch at my sobs. Pain and heartache make an agonizing mix in my body.

  I want to go home. I’d do anything, anything in the world right now to be at home.

  I can’t do this.

  I can’t survive here.

  Please, make it stop.

  10

  NOW – CALLIE

  “This is incredible,” I tell Tanner, staring at the inside of his very cool race car.

  It has roll bars, and cages on the windows instead of glass, and it’s absolutely so amazing. I’d say I would love to go for a ride, but honestly, that idea terrifies me. Spinning around corners, risking an accident? That brings back memories I’ve spent the last six years trying my hardest to forget. I don’t want to think about it, so I lean over and look into the back seat, studying the rest of the car.

  “It’s a lot of fun. You should join me one of these days. It’s a rush.”

  I swallow, and force myself to say, “Sounds fun.” I turn back and face Tanner. “You’re a man of many talents, aren’t you?”

  He shrugs, crossing his arms and leaning back on the driver’s side of the car. “You could say that, yeah.
I enjoy a range of things, old cars being one of my passions.”

  “And yet I saw you on a motorcycle the day I met you.”

  He grins and gives a low chuckle, and fuck, it’s sexy. “I guess the correct way to phrase it would be I have a passion for anything with wheels. I like the speed of a bike, the open road, the wind in my face, but I love the feel of old cars, the history, the stories, and the generations that have passed through them.”

  I smile and push the door open. I get out and walk over to the Mustang, running my fingers over the sleek, shiny paint. “This car would have a few stories to tell, I’d imagine,” I say, my voice husky.

  Tanner walks over, opening the back door and pointing to the seat. “Get in.”

  I do as he asks, climbing very carefully into the cream leather seat. I lean my back against it, breathing in that old smell that feels so much like home. Yet, at the same time, it brings a pain to my chest that I can never seem to shake when inside a car. It never leaves. Always there. Always tormenting me.

  “You’re beautiful, Callie,” Tanner says, his voice low and so damned sexy, I’m scared to turn and look at him. I’m scared of how his eyes will capture mine, and I’ll be unable to look away. “You know that, yeah?”

  I look to him and give a small smile. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I suppose.”

  He narrows his eyes slightly, and then reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind my head. “You don’t see your beauty.”

  “I see surface beauty.”

  “You don’t see inner beauty, too?”

  I want to change the subject. This is getting way too close to home. Way too close to the secret I keep clutched to my chest, terrified to let it free, terrified to share it with another soul.

  “Of course,” I lie, and then lick my lips and look away, hoping for a distraction.

  So much is running through my body right now—mostly anticipation. Especially when Tanner reaches over, his fingers grazing up my leg slowly, making me shiver from the inside out. I’ve not been close to a man in a very long time, and even when I was, it was basic and it was sloppy. Men like Tanner, they don’t kiss you sloppily; they don’t fuck you sloppily. I have no doubt that if Tanner fucks me, I’ll never be able to look away. I’ll never be able to think of any other man the same way I think of him. He’ll ruin me for life.

  “You seem nervous,” he murmurs, that voice making me want to clench my legs together to stop the strong ache forming between them. “Not goin’ to do anything you don’t wanna do, Callie. But I won’t lie; if I don’t taste you, I’m not goin’ to stop thinkin’ about your lips and how fuckin’ incredible I think they’ll feel.”

  Oh. God.

  “I am a little nervous,” I hesitate, wondering if I should just tell him. Is it better if he knows? Or will it just turn him off? Will he know the moment he kisses me? My chest clenches with unease and anxiety, and I know that I won’t be okay unless I tell him, because I’ll be so afraid of making a mistake. “I want you to kiss me. It’s just . . . I’m . . . I’m not very experienced.”

  Tanner pulls back and looks at me. “How so exactly?”

  “This is embarrassing,” I say, looking away and muttering, “I’m a virgin.”

  For a moment, it is silent. I’m scared to look back, scared of what I’ll see. I finally turn to see him just staring at me, confused, then his eyes get a little more hooded. “Well, one thing is for sure—the plans I had for you in the back of this car aren’t going to happen tonight.”

  I feel disappointment punch me in the chest. “Oh . . .”

  He reaches up, cupping my chin. “Not for the reasons you think, believe me. You are too good to lose your virginity in the back of a car, no matter how nice it is, to a stranger.”

  Oh, lord. He’s a goddamned good-looking, amazing creature I want to pounce on right about now. I want him so bad. I didn’t know it was even possible to want someone you hardly know, but it turns out it is a very real thing.

  “Gotta know,” he goes on, “how a girl like you, with a face like yours, and an ass that sweet, is a virgin?”

  Shit.

  I shrug and whisper, “It’s a long story, but I just haven’t met anyone who has sparked that in me, and I don’t know . . . I just don’t know. It hasn’t happened.”

  “Well,” he growls, his voice low and husky, “I can change that for you, darlin’, but I’m not doin’ it here in this car. I am, however, goin’ to kiss you.”

  God.

  I swallow and give a tiny nod.

  He leans forward, his hand still on my chin, and his lips press against mine. The kisses I remember from boys back in high school? Those kisses were horrible, horrendous, sloppy, and definitely not a turn-on.

  Tanner’s kiss? Oh lord, Tanner’s kiss is the kiss of your very best dreams. The kiss that makes your whole body tremble. The kiss that makes your heart flutter and your tummy twist. It is everything all wrapped up in one gorgeous package. His hands, the way they graze over my face, cupping my jaw, sliding behind my neck. His mouth, the way it starts moving slowly, his full lips coaxing, and then his tongue, the way it dances and flutters, gently touching mine, before disappearing and making me want more.

  His stubble scratches against my skin, and I love it. I want more, and yet I want to savor this moment forever so I never get bored of it.

  The kiss deepens. My breathing turns into shallow pants, and my hands find his chest, roaming over his muscles, feeling every hard inch of them. His hands leave my face, sliding beneath me and pulling me closer, cupping my ass and squeezing. The kiss deepens, and becomes frenzied. Our tongues stop dancing, and start fucking. They collide together and our moans vibrate through my mouth.

  I want him. I don’t care if it’s in the back seat of this car. I want him so damned bad I can’t breathe. He pulls me over onto his lap, and I feel the hard length of his cock against my core.

  He stops.

  I whimper.

  “Can’t,” he growls. “I can’t do this in a car. No fuckin’ way.”

  Disappointment hits me again, mixed with awe, which is a strange feeling. I’m disappointed because I want more, I want so much more, but I’m in awe that he’s being so kind, and that there are still men like him out there. Men who don’t just take what they want, regardless of anything else.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” he murmurs, grabbing my hips and rubbing my pussy along his cock. “You can feel how much I want you, but I’m not goin’ to strip you of your virginity in the back of a car. Gotta respect that, darlin’.”

  Well fuck.

  I do.

  I really do.

  “I get it. Thank you,” I whisper.

  “Take you out, yeah? On a date.”

  On a date.

  Tanner doesn’t seem like the kind of man to date.

  Why would he want to date a complete stranger when he could get any woman just by making eye contact with her?

  “You don’t seem like the dating type,” I say.

  His eyes search my face. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me. Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

  Ouch. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just . . . you could have any woman you wanted in the back seat of this car. Why me?”

  He reaches up and cups my jaw again. “You’ll just have to wait and find out, won’t you?”

  I guess I will.

  Yeah, I guess I will.

  “C’MON, CALLIE, HURRY up!” Ethan yells, as we cross the road to the park where he wants me to keep bloody running.

  I don’t fucking run.

  He isn’t getting this—not yet, anyway. He still seems to think I am completely able and can run my little ass around this block every damned morning.

  He’s horrible. I don’t like him at all.

  That’s a lie. I adore him.

  But the running, dammit. I hate it.

  “I can’t run anymore,” I whine as I jog across the road. “It’s been two weeks, and
I still hate it.”

  “You’ll get used to it,” Ethan says, not a damned pant in his voice.

  “When?” I gasp, stopping and leaning over, panting and grabbing my knees.

  “It takes ninety days to make a new habit.”

  I snort. “Stupid saying.”

  He stops and turns towards me. “Come on, Callie. You’re doing good. Stick with it.”

  I look up at him, my cheeks flushed. “Can we stop just for a second? One second?”

  He nods, and points to a park bench. We both walk over and sit on it, me taking more than a few minutes to catch my breath. When I do, I turn to him and tell him, “I’m starting my new job tonight.”

  “You got a job?” he asks, raising his brows. “Where?”

  “A friend of mine has a sister who runs a café. She gave me a job when he recommended me to her.”

  “He?” Ethan asks. “Didn’t know you’d already made friends.”

  I shrug, and look down at my knees, “I got a flat one day, and he helped me. He invited me to a party. I went; we became friends. I’m glad, because his sister seems really nice and she gave me a chance, which nobody else would. I mean, I didn’t tell her about my past but she didn’t ask, so I’m grateful for that. It’s not the best job in the world, but it’s a job, and I’m grateful.”

  Ethan nods. “I’m happy for you. It’s good to get back into the swing of things.”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  “How have you been coping otherwise?”

  I shrug. “Good and bad. I’m a little lost, to be honest. I don’t know what to do with myself most days, I find myself confused and so used to the routine I lived in for six years. I forget that I’m able to go out and do whatever I want. That’s a foreign feeling to me.”

  “You should explore farther. Go to the beach. Go and enjoy a movie. Go to a museum or a theater There are so many things to see in this city.”

  I nod, and then smile. “You’re right. I’ll get there.”

  “I’m going to an art gallery opening later this week. Join me?”