Desolation Read online

  Sofie is in a little two-door blue convertible – the idea of the car sounds great, but it’s quite old and run down. It suits her though, and I liven at the idea of riding in a convertible. She smiles and waves at me, and I can’t help but return that. I rush down to her car.

  “Jump in,” she says.

  I open the door and get in. I glance at her and see she’s wearing a very similar outfit to me, which makes me feel better. Her dress is blue, but a very similar style. It appears she has a bikini underneath it. She’s wearing a black floppy hat that nearly matches my white one.

  “You look awesome,” she says. “You’re so pretty. I’m jealous.”

  My cheeks burn. I don’t know why she thinks I’m so pretty. She obviously hasn’t seen herself.

  “You look lovely, too,” I say softly.

  “Are you ready?”

  I nod.

  She chats to me easily the entire way to the beach. When we arrive, I get out of the car and stare at the gorgeous ocean crashing over the yellow sand. My heart flutters and I rush forward, not thinking. I hit the sand and close my eyes, curling my toes over and over, shifting it about beneath my feet. A warm, salty breeze tickles my face. That combined with he feeling of the sand beneath my toes is enough to soothe my nerves.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

  I turn to Sofie who has stopped beside me. I nod, smiling.

  “Come on, there’s a good spot.”

  She points to a partly shady spot near a slight overhang in the rock wall. We head over and pull out our towels, laying them down. Sofie removes her dress, revealing that I was correct—she’s wearing a bikini. She has beautiful curves, unlike myself. I’m nervous. I’m not sure I want to take off my dress. Sofie doesn’t comment when I simply sit on my towel and push my toes into the sand.

  “So, Pippa, tell me about yourself.”

  I swallow and keep my eyes on the ocean.

  “There isn’t much to tell. My parents passed when I was younger, and I was raised in the foster system.”

  She gasps. “I’m sorry; that must have been awful.”

  “Yes. It wasn’t the best, but I’m here and grateful.”

  I won’t tell her about my living hell with Artreau.

  “Do you have family outside of your parents?”

  I nod. “A sister—Santana.”

  “She has a pretty name, just like you.”

  I smile. “She’s as pretty as her name, too.”

  “As are you, Pippa.”

  I flush.

  “Does she live here?”

  “Yes. She’s married and has a daughter.”

  Sofie smiles. “Lovely. What does she do?”

  “She’s, an, ah . . .” I hesitate. “Old lady.”

  Sofie blinks. “Pardon?”

  “She’s married to the President of the Joker’s Wrath MC.”

  I hope I’m allowed to give that information freely. I suddenly become nervous again.

  Sofie’s eyes get big. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You know the Joker’s Wrath boys?”

  I smile fondly. “Yes, I do.”

  “Oh my God! You lucky thing. I’ve seen those guys around town and they’re freaking hot!”

  My cheeks grow pink. “Yes, they’re handsome.”

  “Handsome?” she shrieks. “They’re heaven.”

  That too.

  “God,” she says when I don’t answer. “I can’t believe you know them. Will you introduce me to them?”

  I blink. “To the club?”

  “Yes,” she pleads. “Please?”

  “I’m not sure what the rules are . . .”

  “You could ask your sister?”

  I smile, but I really wish she wouldn’t push about the guys. I decide to change the subject.

  “I’ll think about it, but I’d like to enjoy the day first.”

  “Of course.” She smiles.

  “What about you?” I ask, laying down and propping myself up on my elbows.

  “I’m a typical case of rich parents who I rebelled against, so they disowned me and now I’m a cleaner for a living.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say gently.

  She waves a hand. “I’m not. They drove me crazy. This is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

  “Do you have siblings?”

  “A brother,” she says. “But he’s uppity, just like them.”

  “It must suck, not having any family?”

  She shrugs. “Not really. I have friends.”

  I smile.

  “It sounds like you have everything worked out.”

  She beams. “I do. Now, let’s see if we can’t tan this skin.”

  She slaps her arms, as if her beautiful creamy skin is a curse.

  Then we both close our eyes and enjoy the sun. It really is wonderful.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  NOW – Pippa

  “Afternoon, ladies.”

  Sofie and I are sitting at the cafe by the water when a group of three men approach our table. I take them in as Sofie flashes a stunning smile. The first man has dark hair, dark eyes and olive skin. He’s handsome in the rugged, dangerous kind of way. The second is blond-haired with blue eyes and has a surfer look about him, and the third has flaming red hair and green eyes. They’re all handsome.

  “Hello there,” Sofie says.

  The one with the dark hair steps forward. “Are you enjoying yourselves this afternoon?”

  Sofie nods. “We’ve spent a few hours at the beach and just had an amazing lunch, so I’d say yes.”

  He flashes a casual smile. “That’s great. I’m Michael, and these are my buddies Liam and Troy.”

  All the guys mutter a hello.

  “I’m Sofie, and this is my friend Pippa.”

  Michael’s eyes flicker to me, and he smiles. “Hello there, sweetheart.”

  I shift uncomfortably. “Ah, hi.”

  He winks and turns back to Sofie. “Would you ladies like some company?”

  “Sure,” Sofie adds before I get the chance to tell them no.

  The three guys pull up chairs and suddenly the air becomes thick in my throat. I struggle to breathe. I’m not used to this kind of company. I don’t interact well with people I don’t know, and having this many men around is making me uncomfortable. That seems bizarre, considering I hang around bikers, but I know them. I trust them. I don’t know these men. I don’t know how to talk to them. I don’t want to say anything, though, because Sofie is being so nice to me.

  “So, Pippa,” Liam asks—he’s the one with the blond hair. “Do you live around here?”

  I shift uncomfortably and squeak out, “Ah, yes.”

  “Have you lived here long?” His smile is easy, so I take a few deep breaths to calm myself.

  “Only a few years now.”

  “That’s cool.”

  “Y . . . y . . . y . . . yes,” I say. “What about you?”

  “My entire life.”

  I chat awkwardly to Liam for another hour, and then the beers start coming. Sofie and I don’t take any, but the guys start drinking. Things are flowing quite easily, but I’m still finding it hard to feel comfortable. I answer any questions directed at me, but otherwise I avoid them. I think I need to go home.

  “Ah, Sofie, would you mind dropping me home?” I ask. “I have a friend coming over.”

  It’s a lie, and I hate myself for it, but I need to go.

  “Sure.” Sofie smiles, standing. “Guys, it was nice talking to you all.”

  “We’ll walk you,” Michael says, standing.

  “I’m going to get more drinks. Meet you here when you’re done,” Troy says disappearing inside.

  Michael and Sofie walk up front and I’m left behind them with Liam. Sofie and Michael seem to be chatting quite well, and as we walk down the beach, they get further and further ahead of us.

  “Look,” Liam says, capturing my arm and stopping me.

  He points to the sun sett
ing, and for a few minutes, we stand and watch it. When I look, Sofie and Michael are nowhere to be seen. Panic rises in my chest. “We should catch up,” I say.

  Liam doesn’t let go of my arm. “No, sit with me. They want privacy.”

  Sofie never mentioned anything about wanting privacy. This makes me so uneasy I shift, trying to get my arm out of Liam’s grip.

  “Why are you so uptight?” he mutters, his voice becoming a little more threatening in tone.

  I flinch. “Can you please let me go?” I ask softly.

  “I’m not hurting you, sweetheart,” he grumbles. “Just sit with me, talk.”

  I swallow, and try to pull away again. “No, ah, thank you.”

  “Just sit,” he orders so harshly I flinch, and do as he asks.

  It’s my instinct; it’s how I am. I have learned to do as I’m told when a voice is raised. My knees instantly buckle, giving me no choice. I sit beside him, stiff as a board. My skin is prickling and my heart is pounding so hard I can feel it slamming against my rib cage. Sweat breaks out over my skin, and I can feel the panic rising.

  “Don’t be shy,” Liam says, putting his arm around me. “I won’t hurt you.”

  I’m rigid and my mind is screaming. I don’t realize that his hand moves to my leg until he squeezes.

  I open my mouth to fight but I can’t manage any words.

  His hand moves up my leg and under my dress. Fear explodes in my chest and I try to struggle, but my body is stiff with terror. I try to will myself to find my voice, but old habits die hard and it stays firmly locked down.

  “You’re beautiful, Pippa. So beautiful.”

  His mouth is on my neck. Tears pour down my cheeks.

  He cups my sex. I make a strangled screaming sound and he instantly flinches away, finally turning and looking at me. His eyes widen. “What the fuck?”

  I gasp for air, but nothing comes in.

  “Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you a virgin or something?”

  I can’t answer—I can only make strange sobbing sounds.

  “Fuck, you’re crazy.”

  “Hey!”

  Sofie. Thank God.

  Liam stands. “Something is wrong with your friend.”

  “What did you do to her?” Sofie demands.

  “Nothing. I was just sitting with her and she turned into this crazy mess.”

  “You’re lying,” Sofie says, dropping beside me. “Hey, Pippa, what happened?”

  I can’t breathe.

  I can’t.

  “She’s fucking nuts—that’s what happened. Fucking freak.”

  Fucking freak.

  Fucking freak.

  Fresh tears explode from my eyes and pour down my cheeks. He called me a fucking freak. That’s what I am. It’s all I’ll ever be. I couldn’t even defend myself.

  “Get out of here,” Sofie yells. “Do you know who she belongs to?”

  “The fucking loony bin,” Liam snorts.

  “The Joker’s Wrath MC.”

  Dead. Silence.

  “What did you say?” Michael splutters.

  “You heard me? Her brother-in-law is the president, so get the fuck out of here before I call them.”

  I hear nothing more but scurrying. Sofie leans down and places a hand on my shoulder. “Honey, tell me what he did?”

  “H . . . h . . . h . . . he,” I gasp. “H . . . h . . . h . . . h . . . he . . .”

  “Take a breath, sweetie.”

  I close my eyes and try to stop my trembling hands. I take a deep breath. “He touched me.”

  “Shit,” she yells. “Shit!”

  I say nothing. My stomach coils angrily and I feel like I might vomit.

  “Pippa, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you had stopped and Michael was getting grabby. By the time I got him off and found you . . .”

  “It’s not . . .” I swallow, “. . . your fault.”

  “Who can I call? Tell me who can help?”

  I don’t think—I just speak.

  “Tyke.”

  “Tyke?” she asks.

  “On my ph . . . ph . . . ph . . . phone.”

  “Okay, honey, just sit tight.”

  She digs through my purse and I tuck my legs up to my chest, repeating the words over and over.

  Fucking freak.

  Looney bin.

  Fucking freak.

  Looney bin.

  “Is this Tyke?” I hear Sofie ask.

  Silence.

  “I’m Pippa’s friend, Sofie. Listen, we’re at the beach and something has happened with these guys and—”

  I turn to look at her and see her face pale.

  “Yes, she’s with me. She asked for you and—”

  Tyke is obviously cutting her off, because her eyes go wide.

  “Yes, that’s the beach.”

  She pulls the phone from her ear and glances down at it, then looks to me.

  “He’s a biker, isn’t he?”

  I nod, saying nothing.

  “He’s coming.”

  She sits down beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. We sit in silence until the roar of Harley-Davidsons’ break through. That rumble, to me, means danger. Nothing could be more terrifying than a group of bikers, especially when they’re angry. Lights flash over us, and then I hear the sounds of boots crunching in the sand.

  “Pippa?”

  Maddox. Not who I expected.

  Sofie turns and makes a yelping sound, and when I turn I see why.

  There are fifteen, at least, of them standing on the sand. Maddox is at the front, flanked by Mack, Krypt and Tyke. I force myself to my feet and turn, my legs shaking. Maddox reaches out, cupping my cheek in his massive hand. “Are they still here?”

  I open my mouth to speak, but Tyke steps forward. Walking on sand would be agony for him, and I can tell by the awkward way he’s standing. It doesn’t stop him from shoving Maddox out of the way and wrapping an arm around me.

  “What happened, little one?”

  I start crying again, hating that I’m so damned weak.

  Fucking freak.

  Tyke jerks and looks towards Sofie, who is still staring, gaping at the group of men. “Sofie, is it?”

  She turns to Tyke and her eyes get bigger. “Ah, yes.”

  “Can you tell me what happened?”

  She nods quickly. “Well, we were talking to a few guys and they offered to walk us back to our car. The one I was with, ah, led me further ahead and when I turned back Pippa and Liam weren’t behind me. I got to them, and well . . .”

  “Well what?” Tyke roars, making me flinch in fear.

  “Hey,” Maddox growls, grabbing his arm and hauling him back. “This isn’t about you, brother.”

  Tyke takes a deep breath and looks to me. He takes my face in his gentle yet rugged hand, and says softly, “Baby, tell me what he did.”

  “H . . . h . . . h . . . h . . . he . . .”

  “Take your time.”

  I close my eyes and whisper, “He touched me.”

  Tyke flinches and his voice comes out like acid when he asks, “Where?”

  I meet his eyes and I don’t need to answer for him to know. He knows. He can read it in my eyes. His face goes slack, his eyes burn with something unspoken, and then he turns to Sofie. “Where is he?”

  “He left . . . I don’t think he’s here.”

  “What’s his last name?”

  Her eyes widen. “I don’t, ah, know . . .”

  “What about his friend?”

  She shifts uncomfortably, and Krypt steps forward. Her eyes flick to him, and get huge again. He bends so he’s right in her line of sight. “Not goin’ to come back on you, honey. We just need to know.”

  She nods and squeaks, “Michael Sheyland. He gave me his name and number.”

  Krypt nods. “Pass it onto me, yeah?”

  She does as he asks.

  “Let’s ride,” Maddox orders. “Mack, take Pippa home to Santana. We’ll follow
soon.”

  My heart rate speeds up and I cry out, “Maddox, what are you going to do?”

  Maddox looks to me, then steps forward and captures me by the neck, gently of course. He leans down, kisses my forehead, and then rasps, “Make him pay the way he deserves.”

  “No,” I croak. “Please.”

  “Honey, you know you don’t get a choice right now.”

  My eyes go pleadingly to Tyke, who has his fists balled at his sides.

  “Tyke,” I whisper. “Please.”

  His eyes slice to me, and he steps forward on shaky legs. “He’ll pay for ever putting his hands on you, Pippa.”

  Maddox lets me go to let Tyke step up close. He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. Then he leans down and whispers into my ear, “No one hurts you. No one.”

  Then he presses a soft kiss to my cheek and steps back.

  “Let’s ride.”

  Maddox nods to Mack and he steps forward, tucking me into his side. I don’t get a chance to cry out, because like the devils they can be, they disappear into the darkness to wreak havoc.

  And it’s all my fault.

  Fucking freak.

  ~*~*~*~

  THEN – Pippa

  There isn’t enough water in the world to wash away horror. No amount of soap. No amount of scrubbing. It won’t leave, no matter how hard you try to clean it off. I’ve scrubbed. I’ve scrubbed until my skin bleeds. It won’t leave. Their blood won’t leave. The images won’t leave. It’s imbedded into a part of my soul I’ll never get back. Forever gone. Forever tarnished.

  “Pippa.”

  I don’t stop scrubbing. I’ve showered three times, I’ve dressed, and yet I’m still scrubbing. The rough piece of material on my hand goes over and over my arm, tearing off dry skin. The raw flesh that’s left burns, but that isn’t enough to stop me.

  “Pippa.”

  I can’t stop seeing it—blood, brain matter, scattered everywhere. With gloved hands, Rainer and I had to pick it up. Pick it up. As if it were a simple spill. I vomited so much my stomach started to bleed. I cried so much my eyes burned. But nothing, nothing will take away the images. Nothing will take the feeling that I can still feel in my fingertips—someone else’s body in my palms.

  “Jesus, Pippa.”

  A hand stops my scrubbing and I look up through tear-stained cheeks to see Rainer staring down at me. His face is empty, but there’s an understanding in his eyes that was never there before. He always hated me, he was always so bitter, but out there today, something changed. Now his hand is gentle on my arm.